Fading light, like a star whose life has been gone for years

There's this schoolmate of mine who takes the same bus as me. We're nothing closer than schoolmates but we used to be able to sustain random conversations somehow. Not anymore. She waved hi to me, I waved back, smiled and stared straight ahead without a word.

On the bus, I put my bag next to me so she sat on the opposite side. I then heaved a sigh of relief and took my book out to read. Perhaps its rather normal for people to dislike small talks with people they don't know well but.. I wasn't like that in the past.

My junior messaged me to tell me I looked like a depressed zombie in the afternoon and was afraid I would commit suicide.


I just turned 18 and its probably abnormal to feel so lost the next day. Well, rainbows always appear after the storm, don't they? And remembering yesterday's surprise does leave me happier :)

At least I'm feeling alittle more motivated to work and not screw things up.

But you know something? I never really believed in myself.
I'll try to. Try hard to.

(& switch off the computer right after this)